Axioms of Goal-Oriented Intent
Each of us, consciously or otherwise, are always acting with intent. Even the most adventurous and chaotic among us optimize for particular aspects of our psyche’s internal desires. Of what, and where this originates is of little concern (no free will or genetic discussions here), but what we’re optimizing for may be valuable to understand in order to determine where we are failing ourselves, and how to best navigate the choices we are subject to daily. While the model can be useful for small decisions, it is largely for months to years long assessments of oneself. If you ever wanted to categorize (loosely) your own intents and those around you, this will make their and your actions and decisions much easier to understand. Just ask yourself and others what they spend their weekends on.
And most importantly, if you feel your goals do not fit anywhere here, you haven’t asked why you have them nearly enough.
‘I want to get fit.’
‘Why?’
‘Because being healthy is good for longevity.’
‘Why does that matter to you?’
Ask enough, and it will be clear that these are the only means one can act given two assumptions:
- You have the proper state of agency to choose — you are not fighting to survive or forced into indentured efforts of any kind.
- You are capable of rational thought and actions. - as far as I’m aware, that includes most of us.
Without Further Ado…
Glory, Indulgence and Connection (GIC)
Glory
The monks who sacrifice their old lives and community to a tradition few will ever understand…
…the politician who pours themselves over the fates of their constituents day and night…
…the obsessed entrepreneur who sees a different vision for the world than their peers…
…the neighborhood hustler who sees a light at the end of the tunnel.
Glory is an attempt to maximize one’s time toward an ideal. It can be selfish or selfless, completely removed from society or a demolition unit to it, in the realms of science or fiction.
The individual in question spends their weekends on books, writing, networking, body-building — whatever pushes the cause forward. Consumed by purpose, everything else seems immaterial. Don’t bother appealing to any other incentives such as emotional connection or hedonism.
This is not as rare as one would guess, but also can be deceptive.
There is a difference between a man who strives to the top for an ideal and one who strives for ulterior motives.
The guitarist aiming to encapsulate emotions of the downtrodden to help the world feel what they do vs. the one aiming for attention and affection manifests in vastly different ways — even if much of their actions seem identical. It isn’t always purely one or the other, but it’s not hard to find out which it is.
Indulgence
The gamer intent on completing the entire Final Fantasy series within a year…
…the serial partner yearning for the next connection more than the current…
…the community leader eager to remind patrons of the next donation drive.
Indulgence is the amalgamation of carnal pleasures. It maximizes the joys our endocrine system can provide, with escapism as its most popular form. Other forms: optimized stimulation of our pleasure neurons, or even long-term pursuits aiming at future pleasures (building communities, striving for the top of a field, gaining attention). Attention plus influence often yields opportunities to indulge.
“All I want is to be happy.”
‘Why not enjoy my time here on Earth?’
The question, of course, is rhetorical. The more important one: do you want to join in?
Some feel guilty about indulgence or see it as wasted energy — yet it undeniably has driven humanity forward. Stories we consume for enjoyment shift worldviews, relieve stress, and allow for comedy — one of our greatest traits as a species.
But we don’t have to justify it. Perhaps it’s okay to just enjoy yourself, as long as it’s not at someone else’s expense. Up to you, really.
Connection
The grandmother connecting with every member of her extended family…
…the union boss seeking belonging rather than equal pay…
…the loyal friend or parent sacrificing all to ensure others thrive.
“I just want you to be happy.”
Connection derives purpose through others. It looks at the pit of glory, the hedonism of indulgence, and chooses to help others achieve their goals.
This can manifest as someone seeking belonging in a community, or a lover who thinks of you far more than themselves. Their own desires are willingly trumped by those around them, without ulterior motives.
Family anchors, sacrificial parents, selfless leaders, dependable online friends: Embodiments of Connection.
Do not confuse them with those who commit similar actions for Glory (ideals) or Indulgence (self-gratification). A family anchor may seek responsibility because they deem themselves a necessary anchor from circumstance or ideals (Glory) or simply want fun times and pooled resources (Indulgence). True Connection acts with only your interest in mind.
Intent, Not Actions
It is entirely possible to witness three individuals striving for the exact same position
(a chance at entry into a prestigious school/company, a niche band player, or even the president of the United States)
with completely different intents on the spectrum.
But it truly is rare indeed that an intent for Indulgence does not advertise itself in some way or another — same with Glory or with Connection.
Seek it out, and the answer will always present itself,
be it peers, celebrities, or bosses.
And from there, you can act accordingly aware of their desires.
Additionally, while one can be in the mindset of pursuing a goal, our emotional baggage and subconscious desires can often get in the way of our stated and conscious ones.
It’s not hard to imagine how anxiety, self-confidence concerns, prior responsibilities, and societal expectations can easily distort decision-making.
And sometimes we really convince ourselves we do what we do for others, or for an ideal, or out of enjoyment —
but deep down only care when the well earned rewards arrive:
‘My bold ventures should give me the ability to live the life I choose in luxury.’
If one’s desire is to be the best mathematician and every weekend is spent climbing the League of Legends ranks instead, there should be some harsh realizations or reevaluations at least about oneself. It doesn’t mean you aren’t ‘built’ for it, it just means you need to question how your actions may not coincide with your beliefs.
It also doesn’t mean you can’t decide to climb both ladders, but you should be honest about your progress on both efforts and if this middle ground is truly enough.
Worst of All Worlds
People can often find themselves in between any two of these quadrants (I’m sure you can imagine examples).
But the most dangerous, and perhaps quite common, is the center of them — someone who attempts to have it all.
This is all too common, and often found in individuals who:
- struggle to maintain agency over their actions, or
- hedge their bets to avoid overcommitting to any one lifestyle.
After all, how many somber, sobering tales have been told about individuals who dedicated themselves to any one goal?
‘Come now, it’s okay to enjoy yourself every now and then.’
‘Are you currently in the dating market? Well, isn’t it important to at least find somewhere you feel you belong?’
‘Where’s your career headed? Aren’t you worried about what you’re leaving behind?’
iven too much of anything, you will be met with comments like these, ever drawn to the middle. At least in the US, this is often the case.
Generally this results from risk-aversion, as dedication demands risk.
A life dedicated to any of these ‘in excess’ does indeed seem off-putting to many, but anything less usually results in middling outcomes:
some success, some friends, a decent relationship, and some happiness.
- American society discourages a life of Indulgence economically (until you’ve “provided value”)
- and more recently discourages Connection culturally, due to hyper-individualism.
But in my experience, the most impactful outcomes come from submitting oneself to one of the three, at least for extended periods.
But why? Why can’t you have it all?
Time and energy.
Given our limited capacity to focus on what isn’t easy, prioritization is the only way to make real progress.
This doesn’t mean no breaks (you can’t realistically focus on math problems for 14 hours),
but it does mean that in a list of 4 tasks, 3 should push the thing that matters most rather than 1 or 2.
By sheer numbers, it takes twice as long to do what someone fully dedicated can do in half the time.
‘It’s not a competition!’
Yes and no. You have about 50 years to accomplish your goals, and getting a successful career at 50 vs 30 can mean a world of difference — for yourself and for others.
You are ultimately competing between versions of yourself manifesting against your will.
‘Well, why not 8 tasks?’
You likely can’t keep it up for long, even if you manage for a while.
It takes emotional labor to maintain friendships, time to paint that wall memorandum, mental focus to absorb that new coding language. You cannot do it all.
Using 16 hours a day effectively is Herculean, especially if the focuses differ. You can often feel like you aren’t getting far enough in any of them and frustrating yourself and whatever causes you considered worth the time. 5 hours of work, 5 hours of gaming, 5 hours of connecting. If you can pull something like that off, congratulations: you officially do not exist.
You can still try, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Silver Lining
Now, to be fair, it’s rare for someone to remain fixed at one extreme; most people spend their lives gravitating toward the middle, at least in aggregate. The established doctor eventually cultivates relationships after years buried in study. The devoted parent channels ambition into building a future for their children. The youthful hedonist, satisfied by past adventures, matures into more corporate pursuits. Each path carries its own merits and its own tradeoffs.
It is undoubtable, though, that figures most admired among us tend to live at the very edges, reaching excellence through focus, dedication, and sacrifice. They are often seen as wise.
Not because life came easily, but because they took it seriously.
It’s natural to stray at times, to notice gaps between your stated desires and your actions. What matters is whether you keep asking: What do I want to become? Am I moving toward it? Framing your goals within the lens of GIC makes these answers sharper, and your trajectory clearer.